Now knows what his second tatto will be for the other wrist...

"Time spent alone begins to sound more and more like a taunt"
"Days away seem more and more like a haunting reminding of my current mentality"
"searching day and night long for something simple, something to the tune of a song"
"Something That i can set on reset and drown away this night so long"
"Once so sure, plans were drawn, hands were busy but now I long for that thought that seems wrong"
"Days spend in a blur questioning and assuming, I long for 9 at night to lay my head and avoid this fright"
"I'm sick, I'm losing my mind, losing my sight, no when you ask nothings fine"
"A want of a gleaming character and one of questionable conduct"
"I lost my life's conduit and now its become consecrated... so blessed and so calloused..."

Only human, not always humane/
trying to find the courage to confess my profession/
Knowing I've never cared for the world is a sordid statement/
Writing my thoughts out on a blog no one reads, i should take heed/
Take it to my head, i know i make my bed i gotta lay in it/
Yet just once I want to hold that hand again, see you smile a little bit/
but maybe that's just dreaming, maybe its just my anger steaming/
So sick of always coming in last, Always wanted to one step ahead of the task/
People ask why don't you do anything fun, cause the last time i got sun burned/
I guess you could say I've learned a good time comes with a heavy fine/
Always tried to beat my spear to a prunehook but its always come out sharper than the book i read/
Sometimes i just wish someone would just ask what i need... someone i need/
Humans can be so inhumane and sometimes i feel I'm there leader, sometimes I'm the seeder of sadness/
beating out rhymes in such a small time, yet on a blog that no one reads, maybe its what i need/
Cause I'm the sum of a buncha sins, always hunting for sainthood....

Do you how tired i get of hearing my voice/
I understand its just life, its not my choice/
I swear to listen more but when someone comes around all bounds are broken/
Yet I know my words are nothing more than trivial chit chat/
 Ill talk about everything under the sun except the one who every day saves my sorry soul/
Its a bold statement, I'm a worthless wandering, hard hearted, hating human/
 I try my best but my best is less than whats necessary/
Blessing be mine but I still don't feel fine/
I'm a freaking failure of a fallen angel/
I am a master of this stained glass masquerade/
Bible in one hand and world in the other/
yeah I'm at the point of no return, no return to my state of retardation/
Every day i see what a blind eye does, rendering!/
Seeing those who Bend the rules only send my willpower reinforcements/
I've got something on my side that demands change, change yeah we can trust/
Putting aside such animalistic lust/
Putting aside my routine of putting aside what abides me time/
Its time for me to get in line, Cause this is the fight of my life... time to get in line...

Looks like this school year will be different than the other ones, and if its good or not shall soon be seen...

As days go by..

"Most days I still think about you, I imagine what you may be doing/ Most nights I think of you while i sit alone/ I wonder what your life's been like, I wonder were you may be going/ My heart still flutters at the sight of you, and I always wish I could Find something to say, more than just a stupid hey/ I still get excited  when my phone buzzes..it could be you, just maybe/ I know I've been cold, but my heart was somewhere  between hard and sold/ I couldn't help it, But I was just so angry/ I didn't know myself, I seemed so alien/ Looking back now i was bleeding and wouldn't accept sorry, yeah it made a few scars/ I was caught somewhere between mechanic and madman/ But at all times i knew... it was you i missed./

I only pray you managed to escape without mangling your life/ I think you did fine, but for crying out loud how would i know/ I miss not having your house to go to/ I miss losing your friendship, i miss your face/ I even miss my mess ups, my disgraces/ you always forgave and forgot, I guess i should follow/ I only hope you understand it was hard for me to swallow losing you/ I realized I lost my rock and foundation, and I fell down into depression/ I can't say I'm cured or I'm even near out of the deep/ I want you to know i keep your letters and remember days clearer/ most nights all i want is your voice going in my ears.../

A picture is worth a million words...

Such a true statement isn't it? Just took a look of a photo of a group of people I was with... The look at them now. Its amazing how the physical side of people change. Young boys are turning into men each day. Childish expressions fade, Faces grow more defined and eyes grow more knowledgeable. You could say days are better now, but I question that. I take a look at the person sitting across from me and I can hear hard heart begin to crack, and beat softly. Where is the young, energetic me that had nothing but passion for that girl across from me. Did I really let myself get to this point, that only a few years ago i would never of thought of myself near? Questions flood my head, anger burns, compassion quenches it... A war between my mind and heart takes a break to smile and wonder what the conversations were, and enjoy the serenity of the past.

Indeed, a million words.